Sounding Like A Broken Record?

When growing up did you ever listen to your Mom or family member repeat the same thing over and over again and swear you would never become like that because everyone was getting tired of hearing it? Have you ever had a friend complain to you about the same personal situation OVER and OVER again but they never fix it? Now here's a bigger pickle...have you ever found yourself saying the SAME THING over and over again and getting no resolve and a week later there you are pitching this same old rant again? How do you think the people around you feel listening to this broken record? How do you feel about yourself when you launch into the same shpeel?... AGAIN?

I've been trapped in this cyle when things are not going well. In fact, I can remember saying to my close friends, "I'm so sorry, I am SO tired of hearing these same words coming out of my mouth again." Good friends WILL hang in there for a while, but don't overstay your welcome in this territory. It's a slippery slope.

Here's an interesting fact I read in one of my favorite books. Karen Kingston shares in her life-altering book (for me anyway) "Clearing Your Clutter with Feng Shui", a startling piece of information. "Psychologists estimate that the average person has about 60,000 thoughts per day. Unfortunately 95 percent of those thoughts are exactly the same as the thoughts you had yesterday. And these are the same thoughts you had yesterday." And so on...

No wonder we keep having the same conversations and thinking about the same topics over and over again. All our thoughts are just recycled thoughts of the day before! This is sad to me. In a world filled with so much information, thoughts, passions, ideas...why do we stay focused on the same thing day in and day out?

I'm all about keeping things simple, believe me, but we MUST explore further than these stale everyday thoughts. This is something I try to do regularly. New ideas are important to me. Hopefully you can be reading my blog and have new realizations every single week. It's vital to expanding our minds and understanding others better if we challenge ourselves to push a little further and dig a little deeper. There's so much more to learn and enjoy in this life!

Circling back to this broken record theory...consider the following:

1) If you are in a romantic relationship, hearing the same BS over and over again gets annoying...yeah I said it. I've been on both ends of this. I've been the one listening to the same crap until my ears bleed, and I've also been the broken record. Part of keeping a relationship fresh and meaningful is growing and helping your loved one grow. Want some more respect in your relationship? Think outside the box and get their mind going. Bring up new topics...get their opinion on things they are interested in. This will rejuvenate your dialogue. Wouldn't you rather have captivating conversation that stimulates you over listening to your man or woman go on and on about how you didn't take out the trash AGAIN or how bored they are etc? I'm going to venture to say same ol' same ol'=GETS OLD.

2) Friendships are gifts. If you are lucky enough to get a true friend in this lifetime you will discover that they will listen to you through breakup #27, through drunken escapades where you completely go over the line, through tears and anger that shake you to your core, through depressions, through successes...through it ALL! This does not give you a free pass to dump on this person all your life never learning and repeating the same crap into your 40s. Don't get me wrong, some will be there to pick you up everytime you fall off the horse, but this can get old as well. Again, while there are no expiration dates on friendships, learn from your mistakes and then try to do better next time.

3) Getting sick of your own voice is one of the worst feelings in the world. Hearing the same stories over and over and finding yourself reliving the same old bad feelings is not productive. It's emotionally poisonous to you and all of those around you. The past is the past. Learn to let go. Stop torturing yourself with the same repetitive tape of how you were hurt. Talk it out a time or two (or three) and then forgive yourself or whoever hurt you and move forward. (And if you cannot do this, find a therapist that is truly qualified to help you because it's important to find a healthy way to heal.) The past is the past and you can never change what happened. All you can do is learn from these experiences and move forward to make better choices in your future.

So, are you a sounding like a broken record? Change up your tape and start saying new words. Start thinking new thoughts. Start exploring new avenues of conversation that will enhance your soul and encourage all of those around you to stop the cyle.

Enjoy your new life and new quality of relationships when you begin this new path!

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Opening Doors...(and getting excited to close some too!)

“When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.” -Joseph Campbell

It's easy to waste time staring at closed doors. Right? You lose a relationship. You're heartbroken. You lose your job. You shutdown. You lose your confidence. You can't get the courage to make your next move. You might even become paralyzed with fear? You end up sitting so long in the same helpless position that you can't move forward. You're in "idle" mode. You can't pop your car into drive, so to speak.

So, sure some doors have closed. But what about the open ones just waiting for you walk through them? Or atleast acknowledge that they are there? It might be time to open your eyes and see these opportunities that are wide open. Open your ears to hear the truth and not block out what actually could be for you and your future.

DOORS CLOSE FOR A REASON
Oh so cliche! Everything happens for a reason. "Okay Kate...I've heard this one a million times. Is this just what people say after they make bad decisions to make themselves feel better?" ...the answer is NO! This is what I believe....

I believe that MISTAKES ARE CRUCIAL. Mistakes are necessary. We cannot know how to do everything right the first time. There is no way for us all to know the right thing for us the first time...everytime. Sometimes we THINK we know what we want, then when we get it, we realize this isn't what we wanted at all. Sometimes we THINK we need something, and then when it is ours, we realize we never actually needed it...ever. Our perception to this point is ONLY as deep as our current experiences.

When a door closes, don't jump to the immediate conclusion that this is a bad thing. I believe some doors have to close in order for us to grow. But fear not! When one door closes, look for the next open one...or maybe even a window? It might not look like what you thought it would. Opportunities come into your life when it is the right timing. Have faith in this. Do not doubt that there is divine plan for everyone. There IS. And I believe that when you walk through the right door, your soul is at peace. Everything feels just a little smoother. You feel like you are in the right place...and that is because you ARE.

HOW DO I FIND THE RIGHT DOOR?

1) Trial and error. Like I said before. You aren't going to make the right decision 100% of the time. BE GRATEFUL FOR THIS FACT. Without your "mistakes", you would never find what you don't need. You will find that these "mistakes" may no longer be able to be catergorized as "mistakes"...you may find that they are blessings.

2) Follow your passion (what gets you excited everyday?) This might not be something you are able to do everyday at first, but it's a good place to start. Take a little time to think about what brings a smile to your face. What makes you look forward to getting up everyday? What kind of work could you do that wouldn't feel like "work" that perhaps you can do to make this world a better place? All of these things makes you the person that you are. These are the things to increase in your life so that we all experience the true essence of "you". Your life wasted doing things you positively hate demands that you look as your life as one big closed door with no options...and that simply is not the case.

3) Make an effort. This involves you taking the time to explore what opportunities you want to experience in this life. You might have to go outside of your comfort zone and have a conversation with someone you normally wouldn't? You might have to meet new people that show you a new path? You might not have to leave your home, but find that quiet time where you can reflect, meditate, read, or daydream to get in touch with yourself and in tune with who you are and what you truly want your life to be. However you get there is YOUR journey and it will be different for every single person reading this. Find YOUR way. There is no wrong way.

Have confidence that you will find your open doors. In fact, there may be a strong wind at this very moment trying to blow you through this door at this VERY MOMENT and you are ignoring it due to fear, unawareness, or the inability to see. Open your eyes. Open your heart. Let the wind take you. Remember there are no mistakes. Only blessings...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MAMAS AND CAREGIVERS THAT MAKE OUR WORLD A BETTER PLACE.
xoxo

Moments That Matter

I couldn't let this weekend go by without sharing the realization of acknowledging beautiful moments in life when they happen. Moments that matter...

This weekend we were blessed to be with our family to celebrate the graduation of my cousin and her lovely boyfriend. We got to spend the whole day together at a beautiful home, out on the water...it was breathtaking.

The image I keep reliving is being on the back of the boat...wind whipping through my air as the boat accelerated...radio blaring All Summer Long by Kid Rock..."drinkin whiskey out the bottle...not thinkin 'bout tomorrow...singing Sweet Home Alabama, all summer long..." My brother on my right, my husband on my left...out in the middle of a lake soaring through the waters...looking ahead and seeing my three beautiful cousins, my aunt, uncle and mother smiling and enjoying the moment all together on this boat...out in the middle of nowhere...sun shining...not a care in the world.

Back at the house we ate food, dipped our toes in the pool, played games together, and caught up on all we could. This is the first time we met my cousin's boyfriend's family and it felt like we'd known them forever. They were so welcoming that we all already felt like family. We laughed all day long. Lots of hugs, lots of talk about our future arrival of our newest family member (our baby Kaden)...lots of reminiscing about the births of the cousins and growing up together.

The night ended with all of us out at the very end of the dock under the stars. The cool Spring breeze was refreshing and exhilerating. Our last endeavor was getting my Mom to make her first smore ever by the bonfire! It was a great way to end the day.

Sometimes we get so busy with life that we don't take the time to spend the time with those that make us the happiest. Sometimes we get too caught up in work, worries, and everyday stress. Taking a day to unwind, get outside and take in the scenery can really do a mind and body good. Don't let too much time pass caught up in the wrong things to exert your energy towards...refocus to the things that matter...the moments that matter.

Mission for the week:
1) Contact someone that brings you joy. Either ask them to get coffee, make a phone call, or even a purposeful text to let them know that they matter to you.
2) Get outside. Even if it's for FIVE minutes...I know you can find five minutes in your week...take in the sun, walk in the grass, stare at the stars...feel connected. Know that you are part of something amazing.

That's all for this week friends. Discover a moment that matters...

What Others Think of you is None of Your Business?

One thing that you might not know about me is that I am constantly looking for quotes, concepts, spirtual realizations and ways to think about life that makes sense to me. I see so much go on in this world that I believe is wasted energy on things that are not important. I fully realize that what is super important to me may have no significance in your life and vice versa. This is not a bad thing. We all have to find what moves, motivates, and keeps us going. Every single one of us has our own path. I'm learning that my job is NOT to judge other people's ways, but to focus more on my own path. My own journey is not the priority of anyone else but me.

I am always keeping my eyes and ears open for one liners, stories, or even photos that will spark a connection with me to help simplify, direct, or guide me in the right direction. Sometimes when a thought really resonates with you, your whole world changes...maybe not all at once, but slowly chips away at misconceptions you once had if you are open to hearing a new truth. Here are three quotes that have come into my life that make me think twice about how I once viewed the world.

"Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate."

Why not focus and stengthen things that are good in this world? Why not let everyone know what is working for you and what makes brings you joy opposed to putting out your hater vibe and sounding nasty and resentful of things that you don't value? Instead of posting things about what you despise, why not try the other way and focus on the people or events that make this world a pleasure to be in? Give it a try.

"Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."

Genius! People that are offended by you all the time...people that constantly tell you that you aren't good enough and that you need to be this and that (anything other than who you truly are) can go kick rocks! Get out of here. STOP LETTING THESE PEOPLE DICTATE your life! They love telling you how amazing they are and how terrible you are. Why are you letting these people into your life anyway? Do they lift you up? Do they see the best in you? NO! They complain all the time about their lives and suck you dry. Stop catering to these people who make you feel bad. Turn to TRUE friends who love and accept you just the way you. In return, be a true friend to those who are good to you and bring joy and value to your relationship. Those that matter (those that love and respect you) will still be there if you spend your time on them and not those that are complicating and poisoning your spirit.

"What others think of you is none of your business."


WHAT? Have you ever heard something more refreshing in your life? What others think of me is none of my business? How much time would I save if I could believe these words? Just let them think what they want and not worry about how they percieve me? Because it's NONE of my business? This is just a delicious concept that I want to savor and I'm trying every single day to take this to heart and accept that it just might be true? People are going to come to their own conclusions no matter what the truth is. In the end, you have to be true to yourself and know that even though what they believe may be false, it is not your responsibility to fix their view on you. If you are living in your truth then live there and do not fret about how others view you. Be confident in your truth.


I hope these quotes spark a moment of excitement in each of you who ready this entry. You never know where you will find inspiration, clarity or understanding in this crazy life we live. Stay joyful, grateful, and don't forget to keep loving others. Have a wonderful week everyone!

What are you thankful for?

Here is my list for today:
1. The beautiful baby living within me.

2. My loving husband who is there with me every step of the way.

3. My family and close friends who support me, check on me, and get excited with me about our new family member arriving in August.

4. My two cats who make me giggle and give me comfort every single day.

5. Naps.

6. Bubble baths.

7. Grace given to me despite all circumstances. (Thank you God!)

8. Oprah Winfrey for bringing us Super Soul Sundays every week. It really feeds my soul and spiritual curiosity.

9. Random sources of inspiration that bring me joy and strength.

10. Hope, Excitement, and Love without which this life wouldn't be all that it is:)

What are you thankful for?

Spring Clean your Life

It's SPRING! No better time than now to be free of the old and make room for the new! I don't just mean physical items, although it might be best to start with the clutter that you can see.

PHYSICAL CLUTTER:
Let's start simple. If you are at home, take a look at the room you are sitting in. Do you see any clutter?
MY DEFINITION OF CLUTTER (*learned from author Karen Kingston):
-Things you do not love
-Things that are untidy, disorganized or unfinished
-Too many things in too small a space

Do you see anything that might fit into one of these three categories? If so, time to CLEAR THAT CLUTTER! What can you throw away? What can you donate? What could you sell? If you'd like the BEST instuction on guided clutter clearing, please pick up Clearing Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston. This book has single handedly changed my life. I have learned to clear clutter and live a much happier, much more simple, less frustrating life via clutter clearing. If you stay surrounded by things you don't love and areas that are disorganized, your life becomes full of things you don't love with a delicious side of pure chaos. Trust me. Once you start doing this, you will wish you did it years ago. Start with one room, one closet, one drawer...just start. The less clutter you have, the more joy, less stress, and greater energy you will gain.

EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL CLUTTER:
I could go on for days about this topic, but for today's purposes let's start with this concept. Get rid of all your mental and emotional clutter by addressing this clutter, acknowledging it, and letting it go.

Some of us hold on to guilt, worry, and terrible thoughts about ourselves (most of which I bet aren't even true once you get to the bottom of why you feel this way) for years and years. These thoughts, emotions, and mental clutter hold us back. How long have you been harboring these fears, worries and self-loathing? Thoughts that you are a failure? That you aren't good enough? That you will never live the life you wanted? A month? A year? Five years? Twenty-five years? Might it be time to clear out this sort of useless clutter and get at the life that makes you content?

1) Identify your sources of dread:
Is it your job that you hate? Do you feel like you are wasting your days doing something you despise? Is it your romantic relationship that leaves you feeling lonely, disrepected, and unfulfilled? Do you fantasize about another relationship with someone that you are more compatible with or even dream about being alone so you can be free and start a new path? Are you repeatedly doing something you know is hurting you? Drinking too much to escape your pain? Whining too much and missing out on all the wonderful things you do have? Ignoring your children while you self-indulge in things that are making your whole family suffer? If any of this strikes a chord with you, try and filter out those bad habits, things you dread, cause you immense stress, or steals your joy.

2) Make a change:
Time for a new job? Time to break up with your loved one who is not treating you right? Time to cut back on the alcohol or drugs or whatever tool you are using to escape that ends up hurting you in the end? It's time. Right now. Make the change. Start moving your energy into a new direction. Start a job search. Sit down with your partner TODAY and address what's on your mind. Put that drink down. Pour it down the drain. You've GOT to start somewhere. Don't take it all on at once. Start small. Make little changes that will encourage big results.

3) Stop that negative mental tape that you have on repeat:
I don't do anything right.
I always fail.
No one loves me.
I dissapoint everyone.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Stop torturing yourself and LET GO of these negative, hurtful, destructive lines of CRAP.
Let's start a new tape:
I'm a kind person.
I'm worthy of good things.
I'm going to make a difference.
I will make great things happen starting now.

BODY CLUTTER
Let's not forget the temple we live in. Let's face it. Junk food, excessive alcohol, water deprivation and no exercise will slow you down. In order to have a healthy environment and a healthy mind, let's not forget the tool that allows us to do all of this. Our bodies. Our bodies keep us active, get us place to place and helps dictate what we can accomplish by how well we treat ourselves. Eat well and exercise folks. Don't waste your life dieting and trying to be perfect. Just be healthy. Keep your body functioning well. Pay attention to your body's needs. Take care of it. Cherish your health. Everything else is easier when you are not ill. When you are getting fresh air. When you are exercising and feeling good. When you feel fit and energized... life is good.

Ready to Spring Clean? Go start now. Even if it's small. Get excited about your life! There's no better time...

Don't forget:

Don't give up.
Know that you can do this.
I believe in you.

I'm Married Now-I Should Have Nice Jewelry?

This is a story explaining the learning experience that made me realize that labels and brand names don't mean shit to me....

All through High School I never thought about labels and brand names growing up in a small town in Maine. In fact, Express and Structure were considered HOT clothing lines back in the day and that was about as good as it got. If you were at Fashion Bug...that was borderline, but even that was acceptable at that point in time.

Fast forward to college...suddenly I'm thrown into an ARENA of labels, fashion, jewelry, all of which suddenly held weight on how others saw you. I still didn't tune into it right away because I was confident in myself and still didn't feel like it was an important thing to feed into. Who cared if my purse wasn't Louis Vuitton? I didn't. Not yet anyway. I thought that those girls were kind of silly getting all excited about a name. I didn't get it. I'd never had it, therefore it didn't represent to me what it did to others at the time.

If you were wearing Prada, did that mean you were a better person? More successful? Cooler than me? More worthy of good things in your life than me? Did that mean I wouldn't have friends if I didn't drop big cash on high cost items such as the sunglasses perched perfectly on the hot blond's face? Would I not be considered accepted like the girl who's Tiffany necklace delicately hung from her tan neck? Would I be shunned without the fancy ring popping from my slender finger like the girl in her BMW as she casually flicks a cigarette? Was I somehow less of a person if I did not have these coveted items like the other girls?

Turned out I got through college just fine despite my upscale surroundings. I still had great friends. I was still accepted into a great sorority. I still got my degree and thrived in a place where money was clearly plentiful for many of those around me. And just as no one was judging my Old Navy flip flops, I did not judge the Hummers they drove and we all got along in a harmony for those four years. Nothing lost. Nothing gained due to labels and brand names. We were still us no matter what we were wearing.

In November of 2007 I got married to the love of my life. We were both doing well and suddenly I realized we had a little money to spare possibly for special occasions. I always knew that my wedding ring would be the most precious item I ever possessed. Not because of the cost, but because of what it represented. But why stop there? My birthday was fast approaching and suddenly I felt a renewed sense of value. I was married now. Shouldn't I have nice jewelry that represented this beautiful marriage we had? Why should I be deprived of the finest things when we can afford it now? What would people think of my NEW LOOK? TIFFANY jewelry would HAVE to look AMAZING on this new married woman! I decided...I HAD to have something from Tiffany for my first birthday as a married woman...

My sweet husband indulged me in this fantasy gift with a little hesitation at first. I think he was shocked that this was something that I actually wanted after being so disinterested in this sort of item in the past. When I saw the blue box, I ripped it open like a little girl and sported it with great pride! I couldn't wait for people to gush over my new birthday bracelet.

Two weeks later not a single person had even mentioned my bracelet. I kept waiting for someone to notice this special item I now got to wear every single day. After all...it was TIFFANY'S for God's sake...

No one EVER made a big deal of my bracelet and my excitement soon faded just as most short-lived exciting things do. I remember feeling silly that I ever asked my husband to spend that much money on a bracelet that turned out to not mean anything to me, except that he got it for me. I appreciated his efforts because it was after all, what I asked for. I felt guilty for asking. I felt embarrased for getting caught up in the illusion that somehow it would make me feel more special. More important... It didn't make me feel more special or more important. It made me feel foolish, selfish, and commercial...just like everyone else getting excited about a name. It was time to get off my "temporary married high horse" and come back down to the truth about what was important to me.

I vowed that I would never let myself fall for that again. Getting excited about material items was not for me. It wasn't authentic. I much prefer things that have meaning, thought behind it, and given through love.

That's just me.

Why Am I Here?

I think we've all let this thought cross our minds at some point in our life. Have you ever had a day where things just were not going your way? Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever done your very best and still felt like you failed?

How about the other side of these thoughts... Have you ever had a day where everything felt right? Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and known that they truly understood you and you felt great relief and connection? Have you ever been so filled with joy it brought tears to your eyes?

How can some days make you feel so alive and others make you feel so dead and lifeless?

I am determined to discover my life purpose so that I can live a life I am proud of. I am determined to focus on my strengths and make this world a better place. I do not want to be so self involved that I turn this life of mine into an entity that only involves me. I am aware of the bigger picture. The problem is, sometimes I forget that I know this. I fall back into old habits and find myself back in the place I started from. It frustrates me to no end, but the next day I wake up ready to try again.

How do we find our life purpose?

This is something I'm hoping we can lay out in front of us and discover how to make this world a better place together.

Contemplations:

1. When is the last time you felt joy?

2. What makes you feel alive?

3. What is stopping you from doing these things more often?

That's all I want to focus on today. Just meditate on that. Where do you find joy?

This is just the beginning.

You are here for a reason. Your purpose is important. Let's discover how to live your purpose.